Brazillian Pet Motel: A Flair For the Dramatic

Just in case you thought you were acting a little too crazy for your own good when it comes to your pet, I’m bringing you a story about a Brazilian hotel that is designed for romantic getaways… for your dog.  That’s right, for 50 dollars a session you can arrange a romantic rendezvous for any dog that still has its factory standard equipment intact. Animalle Mundo Pet is a pet superstore that has a sleazy motel designed for dogs. You can’t even make this stuff up.

Het idee is: als je je hond gaat fokken, doe het dan op een plek die wat sfeer heeft! Hoewel ik het sleazy noemde, klinkt de plaats niet half slecht. Met Japanse stijl huisdier spa's, rood mattresses, and—get this—a mirror on the ceiling, it sounds like an ideal love in for any frisky hound dog. Because you know, your dog may like to inspect its work from a vertical angle, if it so chooses.

Now to be clear, I’m a big believer that anything worth doing is worth overdoing, but we are venturing into the theater of the absurd here. I get it, that’s very cute to think of your dog going to town and watching him/herself in the mirror, but at what point does that stop being cute and start getting creepy? Right about the time they installed that mirror, that’s when. But I digress. Animalle Mundo Pet is a huge hit. The Pet motel is part of Brazil’s expanding pet products and services market which, thanks to years of economic growth and shifts in middle class demographics, is currently exploding with billions of dollars in revenue. These niche market pet supercenters cater to a wide variety of clientele, and their services don’t just include the aforementioned “assisted reproduction.”

In case you were beginning to worry that this place is run by a bunch of weirdos with no business petting puppies, let me assuage your anxieties. They have a full staff of qualified veterinarians on location, daily activities for pets, grooming services, a taxi that can pick up and drop off your pets, a dog café which sells specially made treats, and plenty of other non-breeding related enterprises. They even have a store in the building that sells “Chic Animale” a freaking 40 dollar perfume bottle for dogs. A little l’eau d’toilet that might actually resemble the smell of toilet water.

The place is actually pretty extensive and does indeed offer everything a pet could possibly be pining for. So if you’re a native Brazilian or a globetrotter with an affectation for over the top pet services, you may want to stop by and check the place out. It’s in Portuguese of course, so you may need to open the page in a Google Chrome browser to get the English translation. Or take the long route and buy the Rosetta Stone. Either way, tell your pup about the birds and the bees before checking in!